Celtics barely show up but still beat Wizards

Last night's Boston Celtics vs. Washington Wizards game at the TD Garden was so sloppy that it resembled the first time at college that you got drunk. Haha, yeah that bad.

Neither team was into it. Boston (55-24) won 104-88 over Washington (21-58) in a game that was much closer than that.

The Celtics battled through fatigue from Thursday's night beatdown in Chicago. The Wizards are just playing out the string in another Lottery-bound season.

Boston kept pace with the Miami Heat ahead of their battle tomorrow afternoon in Miami which will likely determine which team gets the No. 2 seed in the Eastern Conference.

Three Celtics had double-doubles. Paul Pierce had 22 points and 13 rebounds, Rajon Rondo added 20 points, 14 assists and six steals while Kevin Garnett had 15 points and 11 rebounds. Nenad Krstic put up 17 points and six rebounds and Ray Allen notched 13 points.

Andray Blatche led Washington with 20 points and 10 rebounds, John Wall scored 20 points, Jordan Crawford added 19 points and JaVale McGree put up 15 points and 10 rebounds.

Tomorrow is the last important game of the regular season for Boston. After that, they travel to DC on Monday to face the Wizards (great scheduling) and then host the Knicks on Wednesday in the regular season finale.

A very Manny retirement

I'm no Bill Simmons so I won't bore you with every single precious memory I have of Manny Ramirez (along with all my friends and family members) when he was on the Boston Red Sox from 2001-2008.

However, with his sudden retirement from the Tampa Bay Rays and MLB yesterday, I felt like I owe a short ode to the greatest hitter I've ever seen in my life (sorry Nomar).

First of all, can we agree that the way Manny retired (on a Friday afternoon, during a Red Sox-Yankees Opening Day at Fenway) was so perfect that you couldn't even script it that well? So yeah, he got bagged again for another failed PED test but I'm long past letting steroids in baseball bother me.

In the Wild West days (pre steroid testing), everyone in MLB did it except maybe David Eckstein so who can you blame but Bud Selig and the powers that be at MLB that buried their heads in the sand?

Anyways, Manny was the most bizarre superstar athlete that we'll ever see in our times here on Earth. He was once described as like Rain Man and I think that about covers it. He was put on this planet to hit a baseball, nothing more, nothing less.

They say the great ones in baseball have a different sound off the bat when they hit the ball and I have to say that when he was going good (1995-2006), he destroyed any pitcher. Didn't matter if you were a lefty or righty, threw hard or soft. He crushed everything.

We'll always be indebted to him and David Ortiz for delivering not one but two World Series titles (2004 and 2007) to the Red Sox. He was the 2004 World Series MVP.

The last few seasons were a bad dream for his career. After being traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers at the 2008 trade deadline, he had an absurd half season with them. But in 2009 with LA then 2010 with the Dodgers and Chicago White Sox not to mention this past Spring Training with the Tampa Bay Rays, the magic was gone.

Manny turned to steroids for the second time (that we know about) and got caught once again. It's not the ending out of a movie but if you watched Manny from 2001-2008, it seems like the perfect way for him to go out.

Extra, Extra: Red Sox Win!

It only took a week and seven tries but the Boston Red Sox finally won a game yesterday afternoon.

They beat the Yankees 9-6 at Fenway Park at their home opener despite John Lackey's best efforts to sabotage the game.

As is the custom on Opening Day at Fenway, nobody got booed on the Red Sox (1-6) even the players that deserved it like Lackey, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Marco Scutaro, J.D. Drew, etc.

Nope, the day is all about the C-list celebs and Boston's elite rubbing elbows with each other while enjoying Fenway's newest garbage food (sushi).

Lackey (1-0) went five innings, giving up six earned runs on seven hits with two walks and two strikeouts. Sadly, that pathetic display earned him a win on this strange day.

How bad was Yankees (4-3) starter Phil Hughes? Well in just two innings, he allowed six earned runs on seven hits with two walks. New York's prized young pitcher is clearly hurt or something since he has no velocity right now and he made Lackey look like a quality MLB pitcher (a nearly impossible task).

As expected, it was a slugfest. The Red Sox had 12 hits and the Yankees had eight.

Dustin Pedroia led Boston with three hits and three RBIs, J.D. Drew had two hits and two RBIs while Adrian Gonzalez, David Ortiz and Saltalamacchia each added two hits.

The Red Sox bullpen stepped up with four scoreless innings. Alfredo Aceves was followed by Bobby Jenks, Daniel Bard and Jonathan Papelbon (they all threw scoreless innings). Papelbon was the most impressive in his first save opportunity of the season. He struck out two, didn't allow a hit or walk in an economical 11 pitches.

Brett Gardner led New York with two hits, two runs and two walks while Robinson Cano had two hits and two RBIs.

Cano gave the Yankees a 2-0 lead in the first with a two-run double.

Pedroia answered with a solo homer just over the Monster in the bottom of the first (second straight year he's homered on Opening Day).

Gardner's RBI double in the second made it 3-1 New York.

The Red Sox offense finally exploded for a big inning, five in the second inning. Marco Scutaro's fielder's choice cut it to 3-2. Pedroia put Boston up 4-3 with a two-run single, Gonzalez and Ortiz followed with RBI singles.

Lackey is nothing if not giving and he gave up a run in the third (Nick Swisher groundout), fourth (Derek Jeter RBI single) and fifth (A-Rod homer) to tie it up. Thanks you Muppet-faced bum.

Two of Boston's biggest liabilities came through with the two biggest hits. Saltalamacchia had an RBI double in the fifth and Drew delivered a two-run single in the seventh.

Clay Buchholz opposes Ivan Nova this afternoon in a matchup that obviously favors the Red Sox. Hopefully they can take advantage and rack up another win.

Who is going to stop the D Rose and the Chicago Bulls?

It had been a long time (January 8) since the Boston Celtics had played the Chicago Bulls.

I knew Derrick Rose was playing at an MVP level and the Bulls were on fire but it was another thing to see them up close last night.

Let me say this: after watching Chicago (58-20) roll to a 97-81 win over the Celts (54-24) at the United Center, you have to say that without question, Chicago is the team to beat in the Eastern Conference.

Hell maybe even the NBA. I know the Lakers always sleepwalk through the end of the regular season and then turn it on in the playoffs but damn, Rose (30 points, 8 assists) and the Bulls are playing awesome.

Basically Chicago seems like a younger, better version of the Celtics. They play outstanding defense, they're deep, they have a great coach (who knows everything about Boston) and most importantly, they employ Rose.

Nobody makes Rajon Rondo (7 points, 6 assists, 5 rebounds) look as bad as Derrick Rose does. His combination of size, speed and toughness is too much for Rondo to handle. There was some And-1 mixtape highlights last night as a couple times, Rose isolated on Rondo and blew by him with a filthy crossover. He still can't really shoot 3-pointers (2 for 5) but he hits his free throws (10 for 10) so Rose's game has never been at a higher level.

Luol Deng added 23 points for Chicago while Carlos Boozer had 14 points and 12 rebounds.

Nobody on the Celtics had what you'd term a good game. Paul Pierce led Boston with 15 measly points, Kevin Garnett had 10 points and 10 rebounds and Jeff Green scored 10 points off the bench.

The good news is that should the seedings hold, Boston and Chicago wouldn't meet until the Eastern Conference Finals. Still, last night should make all the Green teamers tremble in fear when they hear about the Bulls and Rose.

Chicago led 26-18 after the first quarter and 48-43 at halftime. The Bulls started to pull away in the third (23-17) before taking it in the fourth (26-21).

The Bulls shot 47.4% to 38.4% for the Celtics. Chicago hit seven more 3-pointers (9-2) but Boston made nine more free throws (23-14). The Bulls pulled down nine more rebounds (44-35) and had seven more assists (21-14) and six more steals (9-3). Chicago made two more blocks (5-3) and most impressively, doubled up Boston in the paint (44-22).

Boston returns to TD Garden tonight to face the Washington Wizards. Last time these teams met, Washington shocked Boston in our nation's capital. It'll be interesting to see if Boston is into this game at all. They still have the No. 2 seed to play for but they could also mail it in while they wait for Miami on Sunday.

OK this is starting to get funny

At this point, you have to laugh. The Boston Red Sox are off to their worst start since 1945 and they seem to find a more ridiculous way to lose each day or night.

Yesterday afternoon, Jon Lester and Fausto Carmona had a classic pitcher's duel in the series finale at Progressive Field.

Cleveland (4-2) pushed across a run in the eighth inning as Asdrubal Cabrera put down a squeeze bunt which scored Adam Everett. That 1-0 lead turned out to be the only run that was necessary as the Indians held on for a 1-0 win and a series sweep of the Red Sox (0-6).

Lester (0-1) deserved a better fate in his second start of the season. He went seven scoreless innings, allowing just three hits and three walks while striking out nine.

Carmona matched him. He also went seven innings, allowing two hits and two walks while striking out four.

Daniel Bard (0-2) took the loss after walking Everett, who stole second base then advanced to third on a sacrifice by Orlando Cabrera (small ball!).

This excruciating loss wouldn't be complete with a baserunning gaffe to end it.

David Ortiz walked with two outs against Indians closer Chris Perez and Darnell McDonald pinch ran for him. J.D. Drew hit a hot shot off Perez but McDonald took a big turn around second base and fell down. He couldn't recover in time and was thrown out at second on a heads up play. Haha, that's how it ended.

Perez earned his second save of the season with that big mistake.

Well things can only get better, right? The Red Sox come home for Opening Day at Fenway Park (your favorite theme park). All the frauds and big money bozos will be in the house so I wouldn't be surprised if those clueless idiots don't even really boo the team like they should.

John Lackey takes on Phil Hughes this afternoon. Look at it like this: if New York wins two of three this weekend, Boston will be 1-8. God forbid if the Yankees sweep, Boston will be 0-9. Oh my. Needless to say, it's long past the time to wake up and start playing.

Will the Boston Red Sox ever win in 2011?

At this point, the Boston Red Sox in 2011 are the car crash of Major League Baseball. You can't help yourself but look at the carnage as this superstar-laden team is still winless going into the second week of the regular season.

If all goes right, in the dog days of summer, we'll all sit back over our Fenway Franks and Sam Adams beers and laugh about this nightmare start. However, at the moment, there's nothing funny about a team that's now 0-5 (only three winless teams left in MLB-Tampa Bay and Houston) after an 8-4 loss last night at Progressive Field.

Like Josh Beckett the night before him, Red Sox fans were forced to abandon all rational thought (not a tough concept for us) and pretend that Daisuke Matsuzaka would spin a gem against a bad Cleveland (3-2) team.

Instead, Dice-K was exactly as maddening as you remember. He lasted only five innings (like Beckett) and departed after giving up six hits, three earned runs, three walks and two strikeouts. Congratulations to him since he only needed 96 pitches and about four hours to get that far.

Indians starter Mitch Talbot wasn't any better (4.1 innings, 5 hits, 2 earned runs, 3 walks, 7 strikeouts) since he left after 102 pitches.

It turned into a battle of bullpen's and Boston's JV trio of Dennys Reyes (3 earned runs), Dan Wheeler (earned run) and Tim Wakefield (earned run) predictably couldn't get the job done.

Another loss overshadowed nice games from Carl Crawford (2 hits, 2 steals) and Adrian Gonzalez (double, two-run homer).

Shin-Soo Choo gave Cleveland a 2-0 lead in the first with a two-run bomb.

Boston tied it up with a pair of runs in the second: Marco Scutaro's chopper scored David Ortiz and Jacoby's Ellsbury groundout drove in J.D. Drew.

Asdrubal Cabrera put the Indians back on top with an RBI single in the second.

Michael Brantley's fielder's choice in the sixth scored Travis Buck but it was all Jason Varitek's fault as he made a Little League type brain cramp. Kevin Youkilis got the force at third base and tossed it to Varitek covering home. He forgot he had to tag Buck so he just harmlessly stepped on the plate.

That run looked big at the time but it didn't matter as Wheeler allowed a three-run homer to Cabrera in the next at bat.

Gonzalez cut it to 7-4 with his first homer for Boston. A two-run shot to right that scored Crawford. Should be the first of 35+ this season for Adrian.

Matt LaPorta tacked on an insurance run with a solo homer off Wakefield in the eighth.

The Red Sox are off to their worst start in 15 years. They'll look to avoid a disastrous 0-6 start this afternoon as Jon Lester gets the ball for his second start of the season. Fausto Carmona opposes him and ironically both got shelled on Opening Day.

Needless to say, Boston needs a win to salvage some pride. Otherwise, Opening Day tomorrow afternoon at Fenway against the New York Yankees could be rough.

The Bruins are ready for the playoffs (please don't let lightning strike me for saying that)

One of Bruins coach Claude Julien's most annoying habits is overplaying his fourth line. There's nothing he enjoys more than giving too much ice time to guys with plenty of heart but limited skills. It's one thing to do that in the regular season which is a marathon but when you get to the playoffs, you have to ride your big guns that got you there.

With that said, it was ironic that last night, Boston's fourth line of Gregory Campbell, Shawn Thornton and Daniel Paille carried the team as they beat the New York Islanders 3-2 at TD Garden.

Campbell (assist) and Thornton had goals while Paille had an assist. They brought energy to a team that was mostly biding their time until the playoffs start (likely in a week).

The win brought a couple nice milestones as the Bruins (45-24-11) went over 100 points (currently 101) while Thornton reached 10 goals for the first time in his career. Boston is still in third place in the Eastern Conference but they're only two points behind Philadelphia (both have two games left).

For the Islanders (30-38-12), rookie Michael Grabner had a pair of goals: shorthanded and on the power-play but the erratic play of Winthrop's own Rick DiPietro (30 saves) sealed another loss in a NHL lottery bound season.

Tim Thomas made 30 saves in the win, improving to 34-11-9.

Thornton gave Boston a 1-0 lead as he scored with 0.1 seconds left in the first period. It was his first game back since getting 40 stitches against the Blackhawks last week. Paille and Campbell assisted with Thornton cleaning up a rebound in front of DiPietro (who sported an old school mask) and beating the clock.

Grabner tied it up with the power-play snipe (his 32nd overall) at 3:24 of the second period from Blake Comeau and DiPietro.

Dennis Seidenberg put the Bs up 2-1 at 7:51 of the second period with a blast from the point. Chris Kelly and Rich Peverley assisted.

Campbell made it 3-1 just over a minute later with his 13th goal of the season. Adam McQuaid and Tomas Kaberle assisted on Campbell's shot that DiPietro would probably like to have back. It wasn't a strong shot but it snuck under DiPietro's pads.

Grabner kept it interesting with his shorthanded tally at 14:26 of the second period. Josh Bailey and Ty Wishart assisted as Grabner was first to the puck and raced in alone on a breakaway before roofing it over Thomas with a backhander.

After a couple days off, the Bruins host the Ottawa Senators on Saturday afternoon in their regular season home finale and then wrap up the regular season on Sunday afternoon in New Jersey.

The lineups will be shuffled with Thomas, Zdeno Chara, Mark Recchi, etc. all more than deserving of some rest before the playoffs start.